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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26548375">Puns on Kamino</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeoflemoon/pseuds/Lifeoflemoon'>Lifeoflemoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Clone Trooper Puns [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Battlefront (Video Games), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>99 Lives, Battle, Comedy, Gen, Kamino (Star Wars), Sassy Obi-Wan Kenobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:55:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,533</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26548375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lifeoflemoon/pseuds/Lifeoflemoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Puns gets into a bit of trouble on the closest thing he has to a home. But, really, so does everyone else. This whole battle is a mess anyway.</p><p>A mix between Battlefront II and ARC Troopers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-2224 | Cody &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Clone Trooper Puns [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858885</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Puns on Kamino</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Here?” Puns exclaims, “How did that happen?”</p><p>He holds his new sniper rifle close as his brothers armor up.</p><p>Wooley shrugs, “Doesn’t matter now, time to show those clankers who’s the better army.”</p><p>Wooley nudges Puns out into the rain.</p><p>“And on such a gloomy day, too,” Puns sighs.</p><p> </p><p>The doors are supposed to open when sentient beings walk through them.</p><p>His brothers run through, and Puns is just far enough behind that the door automatically closes before he reaches it and is too slow to open when he gets there.</p><p>Puns smacks violently into the door.</p><p>He sighs deeply from his new horizontal position on the facility floors.</p><p>And on such a gloomy day.</p><p> </p><p>Puns sprints towards the med center, which is being overrun with droids. He seems to be the only one going despite the com feed distressing about it.</p><p>“Am I the only one worried? Or maybe they’re all assuming that someone else is gonna take care of it?”</p><p>Puns slows for a moment, “And I’m the one going to take care of it.”</p><p>Puns stops, having a small revelation, “I’m only a sniper.”</p><p>“Whatever," He shrugs.</p><p>Puns runs again.</p><p> </p><p>At the Med center, Puns stops in front of the door.  </p><p>Although, these doors are still automatic despite the earlier faux pas. It opens and Puns is treated to the blaring red flashing lights and dozens of droids turning their little necks to look at Puns’ intrusion.</p><p>Puns wheezes, “Oh dear.”</p><p>Blaster bolts come flying into the air and Puns slams the manual door button.</p><p>The door, suddenly feeling generous, promptly shuts.</p><p> </p><p>Puns runs up the incline of the bridge between Kaminoan buildings. He stops suddenly when he sees who is coming up the other side.</p><p>“Oh, this doesn’t bode well,” He mutters.</p><p>He shifts the rifle from hand to hand, making no move to lift it.</p><p>“Fancy meeting you here,” Puns tries.</p><p>Ventress smirks and charges. Puns curses and runs.</p><p> </p><p>Trapped between Ventress and the droids following him from the med center, Puns stops in the middle of a bridge.</p><p>“Neither of these options offer not death.”</p><p>Ventress laughs, although she seems less invested in his imminent destruction with the droids taking aim behind him.</p><p>She turns to take off since she apparently has something more important to do, and Puns launches himself onto the neighboring bridge.</p><p> </p><p>“Help! Some assistance would be most pleasing, my brothers!” Puns sprints, bolts clipping his armor.</p><p>“What the—Puns! What did you do?” Boil shouts, shooting back.</p><p>“Some poorly planned ding-dong ditch and a pretty bad date with a witch!”</p><p>Boil doesn’t quite know how to respond to that.</p><p> </p><p>Puns crouches next to Boil, taking shots at the droids crossing the various facility bridges.</p><p>“Women are terrifying.”</p><p>Boil looks at Puns for a moment, “Have you even met a woman?”</p><p>Puns nods sincerely, “Yeah, and she tried to kill me.”</p><p>Boil is unimpressed.</p><p>“Ventress doesn’t count.”</p><p>Puns frowns beneath his helmet. She is a woman, right?</p><p> </p><p>Boil seems to sense Puns confusion cause after a few more shots, Boil sighs in frustration and clarifies.</p><p>“I meant because she’s our enemy, Puns.”</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Right.</p><p>Forgot about that.</p><p> </p><p>The giant leggy machine thing crashes through the hanger doors and the shooting begins.</p><p>“Puns! Look out!” Waxer yells.</p><p>Puns hears one of those terrifying coughs that now haunts his dreams and he looks up.</p><p>General Grievous slams into him with a triumphant howl and Puns flips right off the hanger platform.</p><p>Puns takes a brief moment to shriek and then accepts his fate towards the waves below.</p><p>Then he feels his trajectory change and his body slams onto something that definitely isn’t water.</p><p>“Oh, hey General, how’s it goin?”</p><p>On the back of giant flying beast, an Aiwha, the General shakes his head fondly and lowers his hands.</p><p>“Hello, Puns.”</p><p> </p><p>“Running from Grievous again, are you?” The General asks, casual on the back of the Aiwha.</p><p>Puns sits up, nodding seriously, “I think I upset him somehow. He’s stalking me, I swear.”</p><p>The General nods, “Probably.”</p><p>Puns frowns. That is in no way comforting.</p><p>“You get used to it,” The General adds.</p><p>Still, not comforting.</p><p> </p><p>“He’s very nice,” Puns comments, patting the back of the happy flap flap creature that is taking them back towards the fight.</p><p>“She,” The General corrects, “And yes, she is a wonderful creature.”</p><p>Once again, Puns is questioning his ability to differentiate between a male and a female and everything in between.</p><p> </p><p>Back on solid ground, Puns and the General wave goodbye at their new friend.</p><p>“That was a fun. One total fun. But let’s not do that again, sir,” Puns says.</p><p>The General laughs, “If that is the will of the force.”</p><p>How ominous.</p><p> </p><p>This might be Kamino, the place he was made, but all of the hallways look exactly the same to him and he has proven to be directionally challenged. He’s lost.</p><p>“Puns!” Is shouted from down the hall. A brother.</p><p>“Hmm?” Puns hums, looking for the person the voice belongs to.</p><p>99 crashes into him for a hug.</p><p>“Oh, a hug,” Puns does his best to hug back. 99 is a good brother and deserves hugs. “Hello.”</p><p> </p><p>99 pulls back and points down the hall, “We have to go help the cadets.”</p><p>“Do we?” Puns responds. He’s not good with children.</p><p>99 raises his brows, unimpressed. At least he knows to wait for Puns to come to right conclusion.</p><p>“Yeah, you’re right. That could be bad. Let’s go.”</p><p>“There ya go,” 99 smiles and laughs, “Don’t you worry, Puns. I have back up.”</p><p> </p><p>“What are you, an idiot?” Fives yells.</p><p>“I’m not legally allowed to answer that,” Puns responds reflexively.</p><p>Fives is livid and confused, “Under whose authority?”</p><p>“Commander Cody.”</p><p>That throws both Fives and Echo for a loop. 99 smiles.</p><p>“Really?” Echo questions, incredulous.</p><p>Fives looks at Echo, “Can Commander Cody do that.”</p><p>“No, not really.” Echo shrugs, “But I’m not going to question him about it.”</p><p>Fives agrees. Better to not cross the Commander.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, uh, excuse me Fives,” Puns lifts his lovely custom rifle and fires off of Fives’ shoulder pauldron in the middle of the hallway, taking out three destroyers despite their shields.</p><p>“Sorry about that,” Puns says.</p><p>Fives gawks for a moment, “No, no, not sorry, do that again.”</p><p> </p><p>“I thought blaster bolts couldn’t penetrate destroyer shields,” Echo remarks, as Puns takes out another.</p><p>“You’re not aiming correctly,” Puns responds with another shot, not even looking at the droideka.</p><p>It explodes.</p><p>Echo blanches.</p><p> </p><p>After the hallway is cleared, Puns walks over to Echo to show off his prized rifle.</p><p>“Or you don’t have a good enough weapon,” He starts to explain, “This comes with a disruptor shot. It only has a few, so when I run out, I have to aim differently.”</p><p>“Differently?” Echo echoes, “What does that mean?”</p><p>Puns shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>Once the hallway is clear, they regroup with the cadets in the barracks.</p><p>The Commander and the Captain of the 501<sup>st</sup> show up for some reason. Puns gives them a small wave in greeting.</p><p>The Commander gives a small wave back. The Captain doesn’t respond.</p><p>Puns sighs. Maybe another day.</p><p> </p><p>It’s just Puns, Fives, and Echo at the moment. The cadets are hiding and the Commander, the Captain and 99 went to get ammunition.</p><p>The silence is making Puns fidget. He doesn’t quite know what to do with himself.</p><p>“It’s a gloomy day out there,” Puns comments.</p><p>“It’s a gloomy day in here,” Fives responds immediately.</p><p>Puns can’t disagree. Bit of a conversation-ender though.</p><p>“You’re not wrong,” Puns tries.</p><p>More silence.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you seen the flying things from the water?”</p><p>Echo leans forward, “Can you be more specific?”</p><p>Puns flaps his hands like a little bird, “The happy ocean flap-flaps.”</p><p>Fives and Echo look at each other.</p><p>“No?” Fives responds.</p><p>Echo hesitates and then has an idea, “You mean the Aiwha?”</p><p>“Yes?” Puns has no idea.</p><p>“No, I haven’t,” Echo responds.</p><p>“Oh. Huh.”</p><p> </p><p>Problems. Many problems. Many problems in the form of droids that have come in the room.</p><p>Puns takes them out from behind the conveniently placed boxes with his brothers, but they ran out of ammunition and bombs.</p><p>99 steps out.</p><p>So does Puns. Without his rifle, he stops right in front of the droids.</p><p>Puns flaps his arms wildly, which is apparently very distracting because the droids pause.</p><p>“I’m a happy flap-flap!” He shouts.</p><p>And he dives into their legs.</p><p> </p><p>Puns rolls out from the droid pile and scrambles to get behind cover.</p><p>His leg hurts. A blaster burn. Only a little bit shot, Puns decides.</p><p>Let his brothers deal with that now.</p><p> </p><p>Once again, Kamino needs some better interior decoration or at least some maps, because Puns is lost again. Limping.</p><p>He decides he wants to get into this room, but the quickest path appears to be the most dangerous. Especially with a big leggy droid thingy that seems to be teetering dangerously. It’s grip no longer stable.</p><p>Puns takes the long way. It will be safer.</p><p>Probably.</p><p> </p><p>Not safer! Nope.</p><p>Puns finds Ventress sprinting gracefully towards him, twin red sabers ignited to deflect shots.</p><p>Puns decides not to shoot.</p><p>He decides to drop the ground.</p><p>She kindly flips over him.</p><p>Maybe it was safer.</p><p> </p><p>Not safer! Nope.</p><p>General Skywalker seethes at him and Puns would very much like to shrink if it were possible.</p><p>General Skywalker shouts, “You let her get away! You have a blaster for a reason!”</p><p>“Yes, but—”</p><p>General Skywalker cuts him right off, “You didn’t even try, what kind of soldier are you?”</p><p>“General, sir—”</p><p>“We’re going to lose the DNA because of you!”</p><p>There is a giant crash and Ventress screams. They both wince.</p><p>Puns takes the brief silence to try again.</p><p>“Sir, the giant leggy machine thing was falling over.”</p><p>General Skywalker looks taken aback for a moment. Then he responds.</p><p>“It sounds like it fell on her.”</p><p>Puns shrugs.</p><p>Probably.</p><p> </p><p>“How are you still alive?!” General Grievous howls from somewhere above Puns.</p><p>Puns looks up from the bridge and suddenly has many regrets.</p><p>General Grievous is aiming a canon at him from his ship. Puns can’t run. His leg.</p><p>“Damn. Oh no—!” Puns is blasted off the bridge, missing the railing entirely and hurtling toward the waves below.</p><p>The landing is familiar.</p><p>“We have got to stop meeting like this,” Puns remarks from the back of the great flying beast.</p><p>The General laughs.</p><p>The Aiwha huffs, a noise undoubtedly made in amusement.</p><p>The General laughs harder.</p><p> </p><p>Bonus:</p><p>
  <em>After the Battle of Kamino</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t believe in luck,” General Kenobi begins, “But that is the luckiest soldier I’ve ever met.”</p><p>Cody snorts, “Why do you think I asked for him on the 212<sup>th</sup>?”</p><p>General Kenobi raises a brow with a small smirk, “Think we need a bit of luck, Commander?”</p><p>Cody nods.</p><p>Absolutely.</p><p> </p><p>Fives sighs deeply, “99, that was very brave, but the next time we ask you to stay, please stay.”</p><p>99 frowns and nods, “I just thought—and I just wanted to help.”</p><p>Echo gives a smile and puts a hand on his shoulder, “You did great out there, soldier.”</p><p>99 smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know Puns?” Echo asks.</p><p>99 laughs, “He’s a good brother.”</p><p>Captain Rex frowns, “Not a great soldier, though.”</p><p>Fives shrugs and flaps his arms, trying not to smile, “I don’t know, I think the ‘happy flap-flap’ was very effective.”</p><p>99 chuckles.</p><p>Echo laughs, “You should add that maneuver to ARC training. Might be useful.”</p><p>Captain Rex just rolls his eyes. This is what he is going to have to deal with.</p><p> </p><p>“Who, in the name of the force,” Anakin rants, “Decided it was a good idea to put that man on the battlefield?”</p><p>Obi-Wan doesn’t skip a beat, not even bothering to look up from his report, “Cody, actually.”</p><p>Anakin blanches, apparently not expecting that, “And you’re okay with him?”</p><p>“Yes, actually,” This time Obi-Wan does look up.</p><p>Anakin shakes his head, “I can’t believe it. And I thought the men Rex chose were crazy,” He pauses, “But he’s a coward!”</p><p>“I couldn’t believe it either, but I gave him a chance and I was rewarded,” Obi-Wan says vaguely.</p><p>“Rewarded?” Anakin echoes, “How?”</p><p>Obi-Wan shrugs, “It is not a singular feeling or event. And if you expect to be disappointed, then you will be disappointed.”</p><p> </p><p>Anakin blinks, not understanding.</p><p>Obi-Wan sighs, “Have you looked at him in the force?”</p><p>“No? It’s not like he’s force sensitive,” Anakin paces in front of Obi-Wan.</p><p>Obi-Wan nods and stands, “Not at all. But he’s very bright.”</p><p>Anakin stops, “I don’t follow. He’s not powerful. Or even that smart.”</p><p>Obi-Wan shakes his head and places a hand on Anakin’s shoulder, “Of course not, I’m not talking about power or intelligence. This is a brightness of being.”</p><p>“What does that even mean?” Anakin asks, unsure.</p><p>Obi-Wan shakes his head again and heads towards the door.</p><p>“That, my former padawan, is something you will have to learn for yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>Master Ti smiles when Master Kenobi approaches, “I do hope all the paperwork is done.”</p><p>Master Kenobi rolls his eyes, “And I hope there isn’t anything more that I have to do. We still have to report to the Council and I still have to debrief my men.”</p><p>Master Ti nods slowly, “Of course, I hope the force wills this to be as painless as possible.”</p><p>Master Kenobi smiles blithely, “With our track record, not likely.”</p><p>“Speaking of your men,” Master Ti starts, “How is Puns doing?”</p><p>Master Kenobi laughs, “Oh, you’ll like to hear this.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh my,” Master Ti is astonished. She laughs softly, “Somehow, this was exactly what I was expecting, but hearing that it is true is still surprising.”</p><p>Master Kenobi just smiles.</p><p>“He was difficult,” She reveals, and Master Kenobi seems to be listening with apt attention, “He failed nearly all of the standardized exams, but…”</p><p>“I expect he was proficient in target practice,” Master Kenobi comments.</p><p>She nods with a smile, “Very much so. But even before the Kaminoans marked him down for decommissioning,” She says the word as if it means murder, “The force was odd about him.”</p><p>Master Kenobi nods, encouraging more.</p><p>“So, when your Commander showed up requesting I move Puns to your battalion right away, I felt it was the will of the force,” She announces seriously, looking at Master Kenobi in the eye, “I had to step in.”</p><p>Master Kenobi eyes her with a bit of trepidation, “I do hope you always step in.”</p><p>She sighs deeply, “Even I cannot be aware of every being in the facility at all times, Master Kenobi.”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to imply—”</p><p>She cuts him off, “It saddens me as deeply as it angers you.”</p><p>Master Ti notices that neither of them even try to deny those feelings.</p><p> </p><p>A smile teases at Master Ti’s lips, “But how do you feel about him?”</p><p>Master Kenobi smiles fondly, “He’s a strange one.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Grievous is certain that this time he was successful despite the defeat, so there is no fury about that infernal clone.</p><p>He sits in a throne feeling satisfied, overlooking his battleship.</p><p>And he will be greatly disappointed at the next battle on Geonosis.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was a strange mix between playing Battlefront 2 and the ARC Troopers episode in season 3. </p><p>I’m so excited to bring Ahsoka into this. Also, Anakin won’t really understand Puns until later, and neither will Rex. Puns is just a liability with way too much luck, social anxiety, and ADHD. </p><p>Also, yes I saved 99. Why wouldn’t I save 99. I love 99, and while Puns may not know what to do about 99, he sees that 99 is a good brother and that’s good enough for him.</p><p>Feel free to offer any ideas for Puns to fumble through. I've got a list and I'm ready for more.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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